Monday, January 17, 2011

Check Please!

If you have a prejudice that is backed up by a long list of examples - is it then true? The reason I ask is that I have one and it’s a biggee, and it is steadily gaining solidity as time goes by.

How big? Well it concerns every person on, or orbiting the planet. How's THAT for encompassing. None of this majority/minority stuff, no special interest group labeling, I'm not culling anyone from this herd of humanity. It's a Gaia-wide gripe. My peeve is against everyone in the world with working vocal cords. I'm a one-world, one-people, one-flaw, equal opportunity prejudiciator. You are all equal unto mine eyes.

Granted, I don't know all 6 billion of you out there, but I have enough anecdotal evidence against the folks I DO know to cheerfully brand everybody else.

The thing that's wrong with people - the trait that I won't tolerate anymore is this: They say they are going to do things...and then they never do them. Bugs me to no end. They talk, they get excited, I get excited, they get into it, I get into it, and then they wander away and I feel cheated. Almost lied-to.

The human imagination is bigger than the physical plane, and our intentions hover over our realities like a hot-air balloon over its basket. And I've had enough of empty dreams wrapped in colorful language. I'll get excited when you got something in the basket.

Gonna lose that extra weight? Great!
Gonna write that book? Super!
Break off with that douchebag loser? Yea team!
Write a letter to the person in charge? Go for it.
Get a better job? Sure.
Start your own newsletter? Right.
Dust off that musical instrument and learn how to play? Whatever.
Get your life organized? (*yawn*)
Lose all that extra weight? Zzzzzzz.........

It's just happened too many times. I see them the next week and ask "How's the project?" or "Did you ask him out?" and oh, the excuses! The circumstances! The whining! Or, even worse: By the time you hook up with them again they've completely forgotten the big scheme that kept you both up till dawn. Aargh.

And so, hard-hearted as it may seem, I hereby proclaim: I will not swallow any more hot air. Empty dreams and idle speculations are the sources of pity, boredom and disrespect. Hear me! O movers under the moon yet shirkers under the sun: Do not ponder in my presence. Nay, show me momentum! Cross my palm with proof of your intentions. I've fallen through too many trap doors of the castles in the air and am now grounded only in the exhilaration of a work-in-progress.

But of course hot air talk (Dirigible drivel? Blimp babble?) is tiresome to me because I dislike it in myself. Self-help is a leaky vacuum: The maxims you tape to yourself get blown off in the outgassing from your balloon of Righteousness and are then affixed to your friends and loved ones, who resent such condescension. Its called transference kids, and it makes the world go round. That's why personal change often results in personnel change, which is often a good thing. But I digress.

Now sharing lottery fantasies and "if I ruled the land" schemes are altogether different and are hereby exempt from this diatribe. It's okay because these are clearly labeled as Fantasy. (I would like to break all of the dishes after every meal, buy Season Tickets to the Giants with no annoying people nearby, and have a remote that changes red lights to green - and no need to ever use it because I would travel everywhere by hot air balloon.)

I will gladly follow you to the end of your dream if only you will show me a couple of cancelled checks from your efforts so far. For it is true that all the world loves a Dreamer, but everyone respects and admires an Achiever.

Cut the balloon juice and get to it.

Angus McMahan

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