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Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Bibliomancy


One of my favorite forms of divination is Bibliomancy. It’s the art of picking up a book, asking it a question, opening it at random and reading the first sentence that your eye falls upon.
Like all methods of divination it isn’t foolproof, is in no way scientific and is prone to the bias of the petitioner, but also like all divinatory methods it’s also surprisingly wise, spot-on and immensely entertaining.

I have found that a good book for practicing bibliomancy is the original Good Book – The Bible.
In this case it was “The Message Remix, version 2.0″ which is one of those plain-words bibles that popped up a few years ago when God, Inc. was making a big marketing push for the skateboard and iPod crowd. (My fave title from these hip-gospels was “EXTREME Word!!“)
I don’t normally carry bibles in my College Bookstore; separation of Church and State, don'cha know. But this was a special order. So I had a small stack of NEW New Testaments on my desk. And it being a Friday afternoon, my energy level was hovering around “Do Not Resuscitate”.
So I opened up The Word of God at a random place and read this:
Here’s how a prostitute operates:

she has sex with her client,

Takes a bath,
 then asks, “Who’s next?”
(Page 928. Book of Proverbs. Proverb 30.20)
Which I’m pretty sure wasn’t on the mimeo-graphed handouts that I got back in Sunday School.
Angus McMahan

angusmcmahan@gmail.com
@AngusMcMahan

(Pics from writingishardwork, barnes&noble, buy.com and eightvo.wordpress, respectively.)
P.S. My question, by the way, was this: “This job just wears me out. I need a new perspective. How can I get through this day?”
 So, there ya go: Word.

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